Luca, bless him, has dark circles under his eyes and Kian's outbursts are becoming quite frequent. They're tired. We're all tired. It's the end of the year. The predictable nature of our ebbs and flows that make up our days, weeks and months that we all usually relish is becoming all too much. We just want to ebb now and stay there for a while.
It's been a huge year, a great year for so many reasons. Change, growth, decisions, new friendships, new ways of thinking...
I think of it in terms of yoga. I do a little inward hurrah when my yoga teacher calls for the supported butterfly pose at the end of practice in shavasana (my hurrahs aren't always inward, hence why she renamed it the 'Vanessa pose' to all in class). After a strong practice, I savour and sink into this pose... and groan (inwardly). It's a chance to reset, relax and integrate.
Right now, the practice is still going strong. There are five more days left of preschool for Luca, I've got multiple projects I'm working on at home, Graeme is crazy busy, and I can feel the crescendo building up to Christmas with my in-laws arriving followed by my mum whom I haven't seen for almost a year.
It is a little full on right now (and I'm loving what's coming our way), but our shavasana is in sight. The preschool chapter will be coming to an end for our first-born, I will take a break, Graeme has almost three weeks off and we don't have to be anywhere but home.
Because I know if this year was a big year, next year will be even bigger. I can just feel it.
I've got the bubbly ready to raise a glass. To ebbing, retreating, reflecting and sinking down.